When you can't agree to disagree

            How do we stay in unity with the whole body of Christ when parts of the body won’t accept other parts of the body? The Apostle Paul said, “If it is possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.”   So far as it depends on me?  I know a lot of people who think that’s pretty easy.  I never have.

            I grew up in a scholarly and conservative church.  I was taught to think, study, and discern, but I was also taught a pretty strict rules about conduct.  As I applied one set of principles—the ones about study, thought and discernment—I found tension with the other sets of principles.  I found that we tended to stress things that the Bible doesn’t stress.  My church emphasized things like music, appearance, and frequency at worship. The Bible stresses justice, ending violence, and caring for the poor.  We stressed walking the straight and narrow path.  The Bible stresses the expansive love and acceptance of God.  We could find the passages of scripture that spoke to our concerns.  We were biblical people after all.  But, when we look at the whole of scripture and ask what its prioritize are, it clearly places a much higher priority on concerns we ignore.  I love my home church.  I always have.  And I have always loved the more conservative side of Christianity that we call “evangelicalism.”  They are my people and they gave me faith.  I continue to love them even when I don’t know what to do with their emphases and priorities.

            Both Franklin Graham, the son of evangelist Billy Graham, and World Vision, an extraordinary hunger relief agency, were in the news this week regarding things they said or did in relation to same-sex unions.  I won’t try to characterize what they did or said.  They should be allowed to express their views on their own terms.  The membership of the church I serve includes people who would agree and people who would disagree with what they said and did.  And I suspect I’m not the only one who feels a little caught in the middle.  I disagree with their specific stands on those specific issues but feel tremendous respect for their overall work and witness.  I imagine that many people who know how I feel wonder how they remain in unity with me when they disagree with me about decisions we have to make.  I wish it were as easy as saying that we can all agree to disagree as long as we disagree agreeably.  We can't always agree to disagree.  We participate in decision making of our communities, state and nation.  We influence companies and the policies.  Learning to keep the peace does not mean that keep silent.  But, we do have to find a way to speak what we believe is the right path in ways that still give space for people who disagree with us.  We must search for ways to form consensus without coercion and to engage conflict with hospitality.